1. Win Apple from a poker game with Steve Jobs. Nuke it (or for you tards who don't know what I'm saying, nuke the company of Apple).
2. Win lottery. Go on the most popular news channel and report that you're dropping it from a blimp somewhere in the world. Purchase $1,000,000 of Monopoly money. Drop that instead.
3. Take over Google. Take their servers and melt them in order to make the frame for a makeshift Ferrari. Drive it off a cliff.
4. Become a diplomat. Get all of the world's countries together, united as one. Go into office. Shit on desk. While the leader is there.
5. Cure cancer. Everyone knows the government makes money on that.
6. Purchase Kenya for cheap. Buy expensive nuclear equipment. Nuke everyone else.
7. Vote for Obama.
8. Promote the Shake Weight.
9. Legalize the purchasing of marijuana. Make it illegal to smoke it.
10. Become president of a sugar packet company. Replace the sugar with anthrax.
11. Build new twin towers. Bomb them again.
12. Make all internet porn free. Replace them all with "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley.
13. Shut down all Call of Duty servers.
14. Make all contraceptive devices illegal.
15. Remove all bathroom stall walls.
16. Become friends with Rebecca Black.
All of these stupid ideas that probably didn't make you laugh are brought to you by myself, Jake Terry, and by good buddy Deven Guillote.
