I'm pretty sure I would make a terrible boyfriend. I will back my shit up with balls of proof right here...
1. I care too much.
Girls love a guy who doesn't care about them. Girls are just so flattered when you can't even give a shit about them. For one, I actually care. Nope. Can't do.
2. Girls hate it when a guy wants to take them out on a somewhat decent date.
Never done it before because the female race kinda ignores my existence...but my idea of a pretty decent date includes dinner, a movie, and a walk in the park. Oh and I'd bring her flowers. GIRLS HATE IT WHEN GUYS GIVE THEM FLOWERS.
3. Girls hate affection.
I'm the type of guy who finds cuddling under the stars the perfect night...somewhat. And just holding her in my arms to mean the world to me. Fuck that shit. That's not good enough.
4. Girls hate compliments.
I compliment a bit too much, but hey. I try and at least say good things. Like instead of using the completely cliche word "pretty," I would refer to her as "beautiful." That's fucking stupid. Why would that mean anything?
5. Girls hate spending time with guys.
I love spending time with the one I care for. It doesn't matter what we do. I'll probably enjoy it anyways. But no. Spending time is gay.
If I'm wrong on ANY of these points, please bitch slap me.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Work
I love my job so much. Is it because my boss loves Will and I?
Partially.
I love working at the hospital. It's fun to give people shit. But friendly, of course.
Will and I thought it would be a good idea to hide in one of the carts so when Danni went to get it, it would be heavy as fuck. And she opens it, and we were like "Blarg."
It was priceless. Pam thought we were geniuses.
Then she was doing dishes, so I went over and poured a cup of ice water all over the trays so she would have to deal with it. Oh how I enjoyed it.
But anyhow, I still love working there. Even without giving people shit. The cooks are friendly towards the ones who get their jobs done, and I do just that. I actually do my best, and I get rewards for it. Obviously, I forget some things, but dammit, I'm human. I mess up. Just not as much as others do.
On another note, things are still good. Just kinda...blah. I'm already starting to miss her like crazy...and I hope it doesn't get in the way of us being best friends. She means more to me than she knows it...but I digress.
Also, my boss got Will and I chef hats :D
Work is so much more fun with them. We look awesome.
Not to end this post early or anything, but I really need to get my mind off things. I'm trying not to let this get to me, but it is, and it needs to stop.
Partially.
I love working at the hospital. It's fun to give people shit. But friendly, of course.
Will and I thought it would be a good idea to hide in one of the carts so when Danni went to get it, it would be heavy as fuck. And she opens it, and we were like "Blarg."
It was priceless. Pam thought we were geniuses.
Then she was doing dishes, so I went over and poured a cup of ice water all over the trays so she would have to deal with it. Oh how I enjoyed it.
But anyhow, I still love working there. Even without giving people shit. The cooks are friendly towards the ones who get their jobs done, and I do just that. I actually do my best, and I get rewards for it. Obviously, I forget some things, but dammit, I'm human. I mess up. Just not as much as others do.
On another note, things are still good. Just kinda...blah. I'm already starting to miss her like crazy...and I hope it doesn't get in the way of us being best friends. She means more to me than she knows it...but I digress.
Also, my boss got Will and I chef hats :D
Work is so much more fun with them. We look awesome.
Not to end this post early or anything, but I really need to get my mind off things. I'm trying not to let this get to me, but it is, and it needs to stop.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Armor Mastery
I just realized that I hardly post as much on here. Maybe it's because I like to tank up a bunch of events and then post a large, epic, and erect post that exceeds so much awesome. No seriously, if this post was an erection, it would be like 4 feet long.
But I digress...shall I begin?
I am a Yu-Gi-Oh nerd. If you didn't know. I recently spent over $50 on Duelist Pack: Crow for a few reasons: collect Blackwings, tank good cards, and finally own one of the best synchro monsters in this card game, the Blackwing Armor Master. I have mastered the Armor Master, and I'm damn proud of it. I also got a Blackwinged Dragon in one of them.
I also decided that it would be so very smart to waste $40 at a tobacco shop. I got multiple cigars, a 100s case for my Swisher grape minis, and a corncob pipe. I also found mini Acids that were delicious as fuck. Ellisniss enjoyed one with me, and I knew at that moment that he was more of a man than Sarah Jessica Parker.
And here's a good one: I suggest a can of 7up and a bag of popcorn for this. I'll wait...
...
...
...
...
...
I assume you got the stuff, so I'll begin. If you didn't know, I live ass out in the middle of nowhere. Civilization is a blur, and it's rather enjoyable. Well, I've found the joys of sitting in a garage until like 3 in the morning listening to Stone Sour and having some Black & Milds. Anyways, Joe and I were just sitting in my garage all casual and whatever the fuck at like 2:30 in the morning. He was playing my guitar and chewing on his pipe while I was changing songs on my iPod. I heard the dogs bark a little, and I heard some form of footsteps. Sure enough, I turn around to see the apparition of someone who does not at all look like a family member. At that moment, I thought I was gonna die. But I didn't. It was this random bitch who walked into my garage drunk off her ass, and she asked if one of us could drive her to Mendota. I asked where she was from, and she said that she walked from Peru. Peru is a fucking hour and a half drive. What the hell is she talking about? Anyways, we make up the fact that both of us are out of gas (which is bullshit because we filled up that day. Both of us. With semen). So she's like "Okay" and walks away. We were pretty sure that this just happened, and we go to tell my dad. She was still in my yard asking for a ride, so we booked it inside and woke him up. After startling the rabbit and knocking over random stuff, he went outside to tell her to keep hiking or we would call the cops. So she kept walking.
Funniest. Shit. Ever.
And for my final exciting event...
*drumroll*
I have AIDS.
Just kidding.
That would suck.
Anywho...I get a random text from one of my best friends asking to hangout. Yes, one of my best friends is a girl. Hard to imagine, amirite? So I practically jumped for joy because she is one of the greatest friends a guy could ask for. And we're enjoying the night because it wasn't blazing outside, and we get along like no other. We end up talking and stuff, and we both realized that we still like each other. And now we're going out again, and I couldn't be any happier. Kelsy Kuhnle, you are the most amazing girl out in this world, and I care about you more than you'll ever know.
And now that I'm done being adorable and lovable, I can make fun of Joe for his car dying.
lololololol
But I digress...shall I begin?
I am a Yu-Gi-Oh nerd. If you didn't know. I recently spent over $50 on Duelist Pack: Crow for a few reasons: collect Blackwings, tank good cards, and finally own one of the best synchro monsters in this card game, the Blackwing Armor Master. I have mastered the Armor Master, and I'm damn proud of it. I also got a Blackwinged Dragon in one of them.
I also decided that it would be so very smart to waste $40 at a tobacco shop. I got multiple cigars, a 100s case for my Swisher grape minis, and a corncob pipe. I also found mini Acids that were delicious as fuck. Ellisniss enjoyed one with me, and I knew at that moment that he was more of a man than Sarah Jessica Parker.
And here's a good one: I suggest a can of 7up and a bag of popcorn for this. I'll wait...
...
...
...
...
...
I assume you got the stuff, so I'll begin. If you didn't know, I live ass out in the middle of nowhere. Civilization is a blur, and it's rather enjoyable. Well, I've found the joys of sitting in a garage until like 3 in the morning listening to Stone Sour and having some Black & Milds. Anyways, Joe and I were just sitting in my garage all casual and whatever the fuck at like 2:30 in the morning. He was playing my guitar and chewing on his pipe while I was changing songs on my iPod. I heard the dogs bark a little, and I heard some form of footsteps. Sure enough, I turn around to see the apparition of someone who does not at all look like a family member. At that moment, I thought I was gonna die. But I didn't. It was this random bitch who walked into my garage drunk off her ass, and she asked if one of us could drive her to Mendota. I asked where she was from, and she said that she walked from Peru. Peru is a fucking hour and a half drive. What the hell is she talking about? Anyways, we make up the fact that both of us are out of gas (which is bullshit because we filled up that day. Both of us. With semen). So she's like "Okay" and walks away. We were pretty sure that this just happened, and we go to tell my dad. She was still in my yard asking for a ride, so we booked it inside and woke him up. After startling the rabbit and knocking over random stuff, he went outside to tell her to keep hiking or we would call the cops. So she kept walking.
Funniest. Shit. Ever.
And for my final exciting event...
*drumroll*
I have AIDS.
Just kidding.
That would suck.
Anywho...I get a random text from one of my best friends asking to hangout. Yes, one of my best friends is a girl. Hard to imagine, amirite? So I practically jumped for joy because she is one of the greatest friends a guy could ask for. And we're enjoying the night because it wasn't blazing outside, and we get along like no other. We end up talking and stuff, and we both realized that we still like each other. And now we're going out again, and I couldn't be any happier. Kelsy Kuhnle, you are the most amazing girl out in this world, and I care about you more than you'll ever know.
And now that I'm done being adorable and lovable, I can make fun of Joe for his car dying.
lololololol
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