Why I would make a terrible boyfriend

I'm pretty sure I would make a terrible boyfriend. I will back my shit up with balls of proof right here...

1. I care too much.
Girls love a guy who doesn't care about them. Girls are just so flattered when you can't even give a shit about them. For one, I actually care. Nope. Can't do.

2. Girls hate it when a guy wants to take them out on a somewhat decent date.
Never done it before because the female race kinda ignores my existence...but my idea of a pretty decent date includes dinner, a movie, and a walk in the park. Oh and I'd bring her flowers. GIRLS HATE IT WHEN GUYS GIVE THEM FLOWERS.

3. Girls hate affection.
I'm the type of guy who finds cuddling under the stars the perfect night...somewhat. And just holding her in my arms to mean the world to me. Fuck that shit. That's not good enough.

4. Girls hate compliments.
I compliment a bit too much, but hey. I try and at least say good things. Like instead of using the completely cliche word "pretty," I would refer to her as "beautiful." That's fucking stupid. Why would that mean anything?

5. Girls hate spending time with guys.
I love spending time with the one I care for. It doesn't matter what we do. I'll probably enjoy it anyways. But no. Spending time is gay.

If I'm wrong on ANY of these points, please bitch slap me.